Recently Stephen Johnson said of the earli(er) internet, "At the time, the web was fundamentally a literary metaphor: "pages"-and then these hypertext links between pages. There was no concept of the user; that was not part of the metaphor at all."

And if that era was an endless tide of messages in bottles-- each exacting line disorganized, misplaced and out of sync-- where are we now? Or perhaps, when are we now? What parallel universes have we been reclined into?

Yes, user! Yes, User Interface!

But what is it that we're using? It has been well documented that these tools and social platforms have re-trained our minds to be more impulsive and reactive as intuitive design makes them addictive in every way. Some compare our smartphones to slot machines, while others to heroin.

As well, these tools place us in echo chambers- ones that rebuff our opinions thus distorting the self and communities with walls so high you can't see out. And as we become more divisive and angry, what will happen to meaningful (necessary) political discourse?

And if the junkie's problem isn't the drug, but the system that emboldens it, how do we walk away?

Yes, I know that none of what I am saying is new or groundbreaking, but it's important. Call me nostalgic, but recently I feel as if I have come out from under a spell. Perhaps it is because I temporarily relocated to a rural abode and largely cut myself off from my technology in the process. I'm so alone here and I feel this overwhelming sense of calm that I have not felt in a long time. And I think it's not just the distance from an urban centre that's given me this space, but a distance from the user, from these tools that exploit us.

And wedged between those warm days are nights of terror; vivid dreams so deep that I go everywhere I've been hiding from.

Which is ok! Maybe it's good! Maybe it's good to look life in the eye and say, "I'm scared."

So, I'm letting you know: I'm scared. I'm not sure what I'm doing. I'm scared and I feel so damn fierce for it.

I no longer wish to be rendered "here" by these monolithic mega corps. I'm here. My existence is undeniable. I think that some people would like to tell me otherwise and some corporations would like me to feel that's not the case. But I'm still here whether you allow it in your reality or not.

And while I work on new projects that wrestle with my complex relationships to race and identity politics, this is a interim proclaimation I feel I can shout:

I BOUGHT THIS DOMAIN NAME FOR $4.99 A YEAR AND IT'S SO DAMN LIBERATING.

A

the last great book I read was break.up by joanna walsh which i highly highly recommend you seek out.
reading something interesting? thoughts on a book? write to me about it.

while you're here, feel free to take a listen around